disclaimer: i wrote this my first week in russia, with the intention of emailing it some1 who would be willing to post it for me in a timely fashion... given the internet situation in rural siberia (and perhaps my laziness), that never happened... but uhh here it is now!
Greetings from…siberia..!
For those of you who haven’t been keeping up with my whereabouts at all times and spaces these past couple of weeks, I should inform you that I have moved on from ze la france, and now find myelf in the motherland. Russia. I don’t really know how I ended up here but the short of it is that I am teaching English with an organization called “learning enterprises”, which seeks to teach English-speak to those around our world unfortunate enough to not be born in a place where english is their native tongue. The more im abroad the more thankful I am to know English. This is ish useful. Woo hoo capitalism/imperialism/hbo! I am teaching English in a village called Soleneshnoe. "soul-en-esh-noy-a" . I only just learned how to pronounce it without sounding like a compelte idiot. now I only sound like a part of an idiot. The village is in Siberia. Yeah, yeah… get all the permafrost/gulag/Stalin jokes out of ur system… if “middle of nowhere” could be epitomized by any place in the world, it is soleneshnoe. It is 3 hours from the nearest “city” which is named Biysk and Biysk is another three hours from the nearest airport (domestic flights only… don’t try a be bookin’ those roundtrips from JFK to soleneshnoe) in Barnaul which is a bit larger of a city 4 hours by plane from Moscow. if you have a chance, google-map this place, u will prob get a kick out of it. Although, im being a bit unfair. Soleneshnoe is pretty kickin’… yesterday I went to the “town center”… there is a supermarket, a bread/lemonade factory (don’t ask… apparently they go together now?) and some clothing stores AND a stadium where if I weren’t a complete fatass I could theoretically exercise AND a discotheque which I did frequent once. We went to “adult night” where 20 women aged 60 and up came to get their boogie on in this YMCA type joint. There was a disco ball and “mambo number 5” on the jukebox (sometimes I wonder what Lou Bega would say if he knew his song was being played and danced to by Siberian babooshkas) and Russian-red hair dye… it was very “scene”. It must be said that soleneshnoe is considered a “regional center” in these parts and that is frankly quite frightening to think about. THIS is where the other middle of nowhere villages in the surrounding area come for good times. God bless them all. But despite (or because of) its remoteness, this place is probably the most beautiful place I have ever seen. It is in the middle of the mountains and is surrounded by lakes and forests and hills and rivers and greenery like ya wouldn’t believe. If I ever saw “lord of the rings” I would probably liken it to the scenery in that movie but I haven’t so I won’t.
The village doesn’t have many paved roads and most of the houses from the outside look pretty, well…decrepit. lets just say this aint no Princeton Manor (that was new jersey reference for those not intimately familiar with the turnpike). Anyhoo, running water is a 50/50 thing and I haven’t used this many outhouses since 1899. but it is still a pretty comfortable place to live because my family is pretty pimp in soleneshnoe terms… meaning they have TWO cars, one of which is a brand new Toyota SUV. this is probably the only time in my life where I have ridden in an SUV that actually did off-roading on mountainous roads… usually it’s the typical soccer mom on her way to Wegmans to buy her family’s dinner or drive her kids to field hockey practice. The family has running (hot!) water, a shower, a toilet, but they do have their outhouses as well. The mom is an English teacher in the school we teach at and the dad is a bee-keeper??? I still haven’t really figured out what he does but I have gathered there is a bee place up in the mountains where he goes every morning to gather honey?? Apparently honey is a lucrative business in these parts. Screw investment banking… I know my future career. There are 2 kids.. a 3 year old girl, Yulia and 11 year old boy Andrei. (Julia and Andrew for those less Russian-ly inclined). They’re a great family and I really like living here. Another volunteer from gtown and I are living together with the fam.
We started teaching yesterday. I was really nervous about it cuz 12 year olds are intimidating. Especially when they are all blond and children-of-the-corn like, but it wasn’t so bad. The kids are actually really nice and I think they get a kick out of my horrible Russian, which I am forced to speak much more often than anticipated because NO ONE here speaks English. Meaning everyone’s English is worse than my Russian which should give you a vague idea of what level English we’re dealing with here. The other volunteer is the only other person I can speak English with.
The one question I get asked pretty often is what “stars” I have seen in America. One kid asked today if I have ever met Indiana Jones. I dunno what to tell them when they ask me about celebrities because I really haven’t seen anyone noteworthy but I also don’t want to disappoint them. Today I was about to tell them how reverend Al Sharpton came and spoke at Georgetown freshman year…but I knew that would go nowhere fast. So I settled on a little white lie telling them I saw George Clooney. Which isnt totally untrue… freshman year there was a huge rally at the national mall for Darfur and george (we’re on a first name basis now) came to be like the big celebrity speaker so Americans would, u know, care about genocide… but he didn’t come on stage until like 4 hours into the rally so I left before he came. I don’t remember why I was being such a party pooper, but I’ve never been a huge ER fan. In any case ... technically I was there.. right? Whatever it didn’t matter cuz most of the kiddies didn’t know george either and then I somehow got into explaining the genocide in darfur in a mix of english and battered Russian to a bunch of 11 year olds from Siberia who don’t know English, cant understand my russian, and are only slightly aware that Africa exists and well… that was just disastrous. Moral of the story: don’t lie when it comes to george.
Besides the whole “yes, Africa does exist” conversation I had with the kids I have really enjoyed teaching. The kids are so enthusiastic (well, most of them… we’ve always got those class clowns. Class clownage is a universal truth.) Furthermore, its pretty satisfying when at the beginning of class the kids don’t know some phrase and by the end of it they can actually say something. Today we mastered (mastered in the loosest sense of the word) the art of American small-talk: “how are you?” “I am fine”. ..Baby steps, baby steps. I don’t think we will have any Thorough’s on our hands by the time we leave but I mean, the English world will know that a small girl in siberia is doing fine today.
In all, this whole experience is really really cool. The family I live with is so awesome and kind and welcoming and open. Exceptionally so. The mom is a great cook and makes 3 meals a day. I haven’t had 3 square meals a day since… well ever. and they grow all the ingrediants in their backyard so this ish the real deal. Mostly its a lot of soups, potatoes, mayonnaise DRENCHED "salads"... most of the food im at least familiar with cuz ive had it at home growing up but i can imagine that some1 a bit less accostumed to russian cuisine might take issue with it. but hey, im fat and happy so thats all that matters.
Anyways, I will write again sometime soon? I don’t know. Internet here is hard to come by and facebook AND blogspot are blocked by I’m not sure who..the Russian govt.? the town of soleneshnoe?. I don’t really know but I am writing this on my laptop and will have to email it to some1 who will be able to post it for me. Damn commies.
Things I like about Siberia: TEA! I have never in my life drunk so much tea. Anytime there is a lull in conversation some one will inevitably ask “soo…. Tea?”. And everyone says yes and throws a little tea party then and there. Its nice, even though its summer and hot. I like tea. I bought my host family tea from this fancy Parisian tea place. The tea is called “American tea” but I still haven’t given it to them. I dunno why, I just haven’t. maybe tonight.
Also, in the mountains raspberries, strawberries, blueberries and any other conceivable berry just grow anywhere and everywhere. So if you are around a native there is an 80% chance that they will stop whatever they are doing at some point to bend down, pick berries and offer them to you. And they are so tasty. Except once some kid gave me these nasty blueberry like fruits which were very sour and bitter. I did not like those. But otherwise the berry thing is great
Things I don’t like about Siberia: Bands of cows (Cryps and bloods) roam the streets of soleneshnoe. India style. Well actually ive never been to India but ive seen pictures and they gots those milky, grade-A delights all up ons da streetz. Its really scary cuz they moo quite aggressively. I never thought id be so scared of a “moo” but trust me,.. u DON’T wanna piss off these cows cuz when they get a’mooing… theres no stopping them. And then one moos and then the other responds from 100 meters away and all of a sudden you are amidst a chorus of moos that you can’t escape. They roam around the same streets that people drive and walk on and apparently they know their way home at night. I have my doubts. In paris I complained about having to dodge doggy doo on the sidewalks but that was nothing compared to having to leap over MOUNDS of cow dung every couple of meters on the unpaved roads. I never thought I’d say it, but I miss the paris dog doo streets.
mardi 19 août 2008
mercredi 6 février 2008
et alors? je serai morte
theres about a million trillion things i should be doing now besides writing in this but, alas, i dont feel like it. i have a final on friday about ..well...i dont know. which is a problem. clearly. one of my classes (read: all of my classes) have absouletly no structure and the teacher just kind of goes up and babbles about something. in FRENCH of all languages.. (the NERVE!) and rarely is there even a powerpoint presentation involved. i mean cmon frenchies... get with the times. microsoft is where its at. i need the bullet-pointed outlines to make me concentrate or else i turn into a 9 year old boyw ith ADHD. im not demanding any fancy slide transition like fading or checkerboard or sound effects, not even any strategically placed word-art or dancing clip-art to spruce up the astehtic appeal of the powerpoint extravaganza... just SOMETHING so i dont leave the lecture with nothing on my paper besides the notes i passed to the person next to me and my doodles. ha, doodle. annnnywho, the class the final is for is called "les grands risques de la planète". so umm... apparently the planet is facing risks. me failing study abroad is one of them. anyways, i needed a break from reading about global warming and blah blah al gore blah blah how europe is so progressive and amerrrrica hates the planet and blah blah. just to let all u freedom-lovers know, europeans are talkin SMACK about americans behind your back. we should attack them... that'll teach them a lesson.
anyways, something weird i have noticed throughout my stay in francia is that everytime i talk to a french person, one of the first things they ask me once they hear that fierce american accent is "so... have u made friends with any french people?" and when i say "some, but its kind of hard with the language barrier" (read: "no, its kind of hard cuz ur all pretty frigid and reserved") and theyre like yeah... french people are hard to get to know. this happened twice in th past 24 hours. its so annoying. its like all french people know this about themselves and they get a kick out of pointing it out to me and stomping on all my dreams of ever truly immersing myself in this place. i think my french is still pretty shitty in terms of being completely fluent, but im at a point where i can communicate with frenchies and be understood and contribute to converstation. so its not just the language barrier. its parisiens with their icy-cold demeanor and chic haircuts. especially at sciences po. although, i have noticed that once u actually break the ice with a french eprson they have always been really really nice. so ive come to the conclusion that frenchies (yes, even parisians) are actually nice, warm and interested people, you just have to make a super effort to actually get to the their warm and fuzzy core. the same went with my roomate, who i think is even more friendly than the average parisian. shes never super bubbly at first but if i initate converstaion sehs really cool. thus, my goal for next semester: pounce on french kids in my classes until they become my friends. every. last. one of. them... i. like. writing. like. this. it. is. very. dramatic. dont. u .think. ? .
anyhooooo what else what else?? nothing, i will go be responsible now and read about the dangers of nuclear energy as an alternative to carbon. snoooooooozeeefest. ill be dead before this ish really affects me anyways. maybe that's what ill write for my 3-hour essay test on global warming. "et alors? je serai morte" fin.
things i like about france: they have this store here in france called "piccard" and basically it only sells frozen food. nothing else. when u walk into the store its like walking into the frozen food section of a supermarket but u magically by-pass all the vegetables and cereal and stupid crap... cut to the chase: pizza bagels and frozen lentils. anyways, its really weird and its the only store in france ive seen where they actually BAG your groceries for you. everywhere else is so annoying... here they just hurriedly scan all ur items and push them to the side and then make u pay really quick;ly cuz theres always a huge line behind u (when is there NOT a huge line to do ANYHTING in this country... i mean its not as bad as communist russia im assuming but pretty darn close) and then you are left to bag your own shit while the next person in line is starting to be helped. and the cashregister lady jsut pushes all the new person's things with yours so ur frantically trying to bag ur stupid groceries and then the plastic gets stuck together at the openning (u know what im talkin about) and u cant freakin open it and meanwhile gallons of some1 else's milk are being shoved over your way and crushing ur bread and omg its actually the most stressful thing i have ever experienced. no compassion from the check-out lady either... even if she sees u drowning in ur own gluttony and cant bag all the ccrap u just bought she wont stop and help u out or even wait like HALF a second before letting an avalanch of the person-behind-you's stuff fall into yours. wow im feeling my blood pressure rise jsut htinking about it. why did i bring this up? o yeah... piccarddd.... coolest store ever. i bought sorbet,,, mango and raspberry. i was very happy with my purchase.
things i dont like about france: no bagging ladies at the supermarket and frigid people. see above post
o, funny thing: my roomate thought it was funny that we call the white part of the egg the "white" but the yelllow part "the yolk". instead of the "yellow". in french apparently its called the white and the yellow. that seems more logical than the english way.
ok i guess that wasnt funny like laugh out loud funny but it was amusing in an 'ah, hmm... yes, so true, anna, tell me more" kind of way. anyways... im leaving. good. bye.
anyways, something weird i have noticed throughout my stay in francia is that everytime i talk to a french person, one of the first things they ask me once they hear that fierce american accent is "so... have u made friends with any french people?" and when i say "some, but its kind of hard with the language barrier" (read: "no, its kind of hard cuz ur all pretty frigid and reserved") and theyre like yeah... french people are hard to get to know. this happened twice in th past 24 hours. its so annoying. its like all french people know this about themselves and they get a kick out of pointing it out to me and stomping on all my dreams of ever truly immersing myself in this place. i think my french is still pretty shitty in terms of being completely fluent, but im at a point where i can communicate with frenchies and be understood and contribute to converstation. so its not just the language barrier. its parisiens with their icy-cold demeanor and chic haircuts. especially at sciences po. although, i have noticed that once u actually break the ice with a french eprson they have always been really really nice. so ive come to the conclusion that frenchies (yes, even parisians) are actually nice, warm and interested people, you just have to make a super effort to actually get to the their warm and fuzzy core. the same went with my roomate, who i think is even more friendly than the average parisian. shes never super bubbly at first but if i initate converstaion sehs really cool. thus, my goal for next semester: pounce on french kids in my classes until they become my friends. every. last. one of. them... i. like. writing. like. this. it. is. very. dramatic. dont. u .think. ? .
anyhooooo what else what else?? nothing, i will go be responsible now and read about the dangers of nuclear energy as an alternative to carbon. snoooooooozeeefest. ill be dead before this ish really affects me anyways. maybe that's what ill write for my 3-hour essay test on global warming. "et alors? je serai morte" fin.
things i like about france: they have this store here in france called "piccard" and basically it only sells frozen food. nothing else. when u walk into the store its like walking into the frozen food section of a supermarket but u magically by-pass all the vegetables and cereal and stupid crap... cut to the chase: pizza bagels and frozen lentils. anyways, its really weird and its the only store in france ive seen where they actually BAG your groceries for you. everywhere else is so annoying... here they just hurriedly scan all ur items and push them to the side and then make u pay really quick;ly cuz theres always a huge line behind u (when is there NOT a huge line to do ANYHTING in this country... i mean its not as bad as communist russia im assuming but pretty darn close) and then you are left to bag your own shit while the next person in line is starting to be helped. and the cashregister lady jsut pushes all the new person's things with yours so ur frantically trying to bag ur stupid groceries and then the plastic gets stuck together at the openning (u know what im talkin about) and u cant freakin open it and meanwhile gallons of some1 else's milk are being shoved over your way and crushing ur bread and omg its actually the most stressful thing i have ever experienced. no compassion from the check-out lady either... even if she sees u drowning in ur own gluttony and cant bag all the ccrap u just bought she wont stop and help u out or even wait like HALF a second before letting an avalanch of the person-behind-you's stuff fall into yours. wow im feeling my blood pressure rise jsut htinking about it. why did i bring this up? o yeah... piccarddd.... coolest store ever. i bought sorbet,,, mango and raspberry. i was very happy with my purchase.
things i dont like about france: no bagging ladies at the supermarket and frigid people. see above post
o, funny thing: my roomate thought it was funny that we call the white part of the egg the "white" but the yelllow part "the yolk". instead of the "yellow". in french apparently its called the white and the yellow. that seems more logical than the english way.
ok i guess that wasnt funny like laugh out loud funny but it was amusing in an 'ah, hmm... yes, so true, anna, tell me more" kind of way. anyways... im leaving. good. bye.
lundi 4 février 2008
banane
hello my babies!
so, keeping with my tradition of writing often and profoundly, i will update this blog-shiz-nit. two very important developments to talk about first: 1) I will soon be the very proud owner of my very own brand-spankin new CARTE DE SEJOUR!. 2) I learned out how say "fanny pack" in french.
Lets start with the latter, as that has impacted my life on an intellectual and somewhat spiritual level, I was at work and this french lady came up to me... circa 40 years old. she was sitting at a table earlier in the night with a bunch of other middle aged frenchies. they already looked out of place cuz the bar i work at usually caters to the younger corwd. cuz its hip u know? i mean would I work at an unhip place? i mean does anyone remember my summer affair with ruby tuesdays on route one south?? anyways... the mature french women were obviously not parisiens, as they were asking ME questions about where to go buck wild on their night out in the city of lights. anytime french people ask me advice about paris, well, i mean. i dunno. anyways. they asked if the bar (its a canadian bar) had any live music events or dancing or "traditional" canadian entertainment. i was like... ummm laddddiessss this is a bar, it aint no moulin rouge. and moreover, i didnt know what they meant as "traditional" canadian entiertainment. i dont think anything comes out of canada. i was gonna say they could watch a hockey game or maybe i can bust out some avril levine on the speakers but instead i said i wasnt sure and that was that. a couple hours later one of the women came back in and asked if she found her "banane". i was confused and didnt understand y she would leave her banana or why she brought it into the canadian bar in the first place. then she kept making this motion with her hands outlining a thing around her lower-abdoman area and i was still confused. then i went to the back to see if anyone left anything resembling bananas and then, there it was, in all its glory, rays of heaven's light shining upin it: a black leather fannypack with four gold stars embroidered on the front. i gave her her banane and she was very happy and left. prob went to one of the peep shows at pigalle. for those readers unfamiliar with the parisian nightlife, pigalle is the shady part of town with all the sex shops, peep shows, caberets, and KFCs. i am frequent flyer of the pigalle area
okay number 2, slightly less important than the banane: tomorrow i will go get my carte de sejour, the one document i should have procured in october that makes me legal in france. ive been living without it and im not supposed to leave france (actually, EU shengan region) without having it or they might not let u back in the country... but i went london and egypt and slovakia without it and i was fine. usually u hand over that USA passport with a coy im-an-american-citizen smile and they just let u do whatever u want. im going to morocco in about 2 weeks and so i am glad to have it for that. but anywys, mardi, 5 fevrier i have my "visite medicale" which u need before they give u ur carte. from what i have heard, this entails old french ladies making u sit topless in a room while they x-ray ur body to make sure ur not a terrorist and hiding bombs or chemical weapons in ur chest cavity or something. in anycase, i am very excited becuase i think they let u keep the x-ray of ur chest and that will be a nice souvenir. the only good thing to come out of french bureacracy.
sooo.... yeah thats some of whats been going on for the past 2 months since ive written. also i went to egypt and israel to visit this girl i know from georgetown. she kinda sucks but i wanted to go to the middle east and shes my in.... anywyas both were very cool nad eye-openning and blah blah and now i have a new fascination with middle eastern culture and people and blah blah. i started a blog post about it a couple weeks ago but i havent finsihed it. maybe if i ever do ill post it and then u can read it.
also, i just returned from lyon yesterday. me and patricka nd roberto when to visit some gtown peepz studying there for 2 days. lyon is a relaly cool city. i was expecting to be disappointed, the way i was with dijon (dijon=lame-oooo) but this was actually really cool. not as cool as paris but u know, it tries. it was quaint and charming but not small and boring, as quaint and charming places tend to become after the first 2 hours of being there. its the gastronomical (i think i spelled that word wrong) capital of france. in practice, this means they eat pigs feet and baby cow heads and call it a meal. the traditional lyonnais food is served at the "bouchon" and we went to one of these and it was a very interewsting experience to say the least. lets just say, the chilled pig's feet salad doused in mayonaise was my favorite. we also went to this "minature museme" where some french guy (or maybe he was swiss... tamAYto, tomAHto) spends his life making little diarama type models of random rooms and buildings. theyre so LIFE-like though. i almost wished i could become smaller like in honey i shrank the kids and live in all his little models. o man i miss that movie.
anyways, lyon was good and i stuffed my face about every two hours and now am probably as big as a house but, u cant go to the gastronomical capital of france and NOT be a glutton. its like... against the rules.
lets seee what else is going on in my o-so-exciting like... o. i went ot the movies last ngiht. saw "charlie wilson;s war"... i think thats what it is in english. here they call it "la guerre selon Charlie Wilson". i really liked. i recommend all to see it. that and Juno. i watched that on the computer and i really like that too. the girl in it is so good i wish i could hang out with her and she could be my friend but i think she might be too cool for me.
anyways, classes ended last week. that means everything is over except for 2 finals, both of which i will not stress out about too much because... i dunno im lazy and i just need to pass so i think with enough praying to allah i will be fine. on the 14th im leacing for morocco(hellllzzzzzzyeeeee!!) for a week and then we are taking the ferry over to southern spain and then making our way over to portugal and flying back to paris 1st of mars. then CLASSES.. wait omg a pigeon just ran into the window in my housre. omg that was so scary. omg now its sitting ont he ledge looking at me. ... ok it just flew away. phew! that was close.
assssssss i was saying before rudely interrupted by frenchie pigeon... classes start teh 3rd of march. kind of funny our semesters are so weird ehre... 2nd semester starts as most americans are having their spring breaks. in general i dont mind it but it does make the first semester feel like it last FOREVER... i just want it to be done and over with so i can be in morocco and chill with the muslums.
also, new apartment (well... not so new anymore) is nice. i love having my own space its really great. i wish i got to see my roomate more but seeing as january was hell month (i actually had SCHOOLWORK TO DO??? what is this crappp... the study in the "study abroad" decided to peeps its little head into my life) and i was working a lot and i went to lyon to be a fat-ass sooo we havent crossed paths. one night though we were eatring dinner and i was trying to explain to her different accents in america and then i showed her the mike myers skit on snl with the jewish ladies and thier brroklyn accent and she got a kick out of that. she really likes hearing about american culture and stuff. i showerd her some jerry seinfeld stand upt too although he was speaking too quickly so i dont think she understood a lot of it. she knows some english but not too much. also i like her because shes not super clean and either am i so i dont feel nervous about doing th dishes right away and stuff. over the summer i lived with cleano-nazis karima and alysa and they always blamed me when i didnt follow the "cleaning schedule" they so cornily posted on the fridge that no one else followed either but somehow i was the butt of the house-cleaning jokes. here me and camille can live in our own filth and be happy as clams. just kidding it really isnt dirty at all and i make sure i keep all the common areas nice and tidy (my room is a different story) but shes laid back and u know, im chill wit dat.
ow my head hurts. i dont know why.
ok i will finish by one thing i like about france and one thing i dont like so much:
like about france: les 'soldes". in france they dont have sales throughout the year like they do in the US but instead these this 6 week period or so when all stores are mandated by law to have sales. it started in january and i think its ending very soon. the first weekend of the sales are supposed to have the best discounts but this is also when the entire french population does its shopping so its really crowded. i didt go those days but i went last week pour faire du shopping and uhh,,, i dont wanna brag but i got me some of dem bargains.
don't like about france: old buildings dont have elevators. my apartment is on the 5th floor (which in france means the 6th) and its all stairs and it sucks walking up there. it makes leaving the house such a chore cuz once u leave the house u LEAVE the house... u cant jsut come back in like half an hour if u forget something because then u have to climb the stairs. i guess u could but i mean i prefer to stay on flat land. ascending into the heavens just aint my cup o' tea.
so, keeping with my tradition of writing often and profoundly, i will update this blog-shiz-nit. two very important developments to talk about first: 1) I will soon be the very proud owner of my very own brand-spankin new CARTE DE SEJOUR!. 2) I learned out how say "fanny pack" in french.
Lets start with the latter, as that has impacted my life on an intellectual and somewhat spiritual level, I was at work and this french lady came up to me... circa 40 years old. she was sitting at a table earlier in the night with a bunch of other middle aged frenchies. they already looked out of place cuz the bar i work at usually caters to the younger corwd. cuz its hip u know? i mean would I work at an unhip place? i mean does anyone remember my summer affair with ruby tuesdays on route one south?? anyways... the mature french women were obviously not parisiens, as they were asking ME questions about where to go buck wild on their night out in the city of lights. anytime french people ask me advice about paris, well, i mean. i dunno. anyways. they asked if the bar (its a canadian bar) had any live music events or dancing or "traditional" canadian entertainment. i was like... ummm laddddiessss this is a bar, it aint no moulin rouge. and moreover, i didnt know what they meant as "traditional" canadian entiertainment. i dont think anything comes out of canada. i was gonna say they could watch a hockey game or maybe i can bust out some avril levine on the speakers but instead i said i wasnt sure and that was that. a couple hours later one of the women came back in and asked if she found her "banane". i was confused and didnt understand y she would leave her banana or why she brought it into the canadian bar in the first place. then she kept making this motion with her hands outlining a thing around her lower-abdoman area and i was still confused. then i went to the back to see if anyone left anything resembling bananas and then, there it was, in all its glory, rays of heaven's light shining upin it: a black leather fannypack with four gold stars embroidered on the front. i gave her her banane and she was very happy and left. prob went to one of the peep shows at pigalle. for those readers unfamiliar with the parisian nightlife, pigalle is the shady part of town with all the sex shops, peep shows, caberets, and KFCs. i am frequent flyer of the pigalle area
okay number 2, slightly less important than the banane: tomorrow i will go get my carte de sejour, the one document i should have procured in october that makes me legal in france. ive been living without it and im not supposed to leave france (actually, EU shengan region) without having it or they might not let u back in the country... but i went london and egypt and slovakia without it and i was fine. usually u hand over that USA passport with a coy im-an-american-citizen smile and they just let u do whatever u want. im going to morocco in about 2 weeks and so i am glad to have it for that. but anywys, mardi, 5 fevrier i have my "visite medicale" which u need before they give u ur carte. from what i have heard, this entails old french ladies making u sit topless in a room while they x-ray ur body to make sure ur not a terrorist and hiding bombs or chemical weapons in ur chest cavity or something. in anycase, i am very excited becuase i think they let u keep the x-ray of ur chest and that will be a nice souvenir. the only good thing to come out of french bureacracy.
sooo.... yeah thats some of whats been going on for the past 2 months since ive written. also i went to egypt and israel to visit this girl i know from georgetown. she kinda sucks but i wanted to go to the middle east and shes my in.... anywyas both were very cool nad eye-openning and blah blah and now i have a new fascination with middle eastern culture and people and blah blah. i started a blog post about it a couple weeks ago but i havent finsihed it. maybe if i ever do ill post it and then u can read it.
also, i just returned from lyon yesterday. me and patricka nd roberto when to visit some gtown peepz studying there for 2 days. lyon is a relaly cool city. i was expecting to be disappointed, the way i was with dijon (dijon=lame-oooo) but this was actually really cool. not as cool as paris but u know, it tries. it was quaint and charming but not small and boring, as quaint and charming places tend to become after the first 2 hours of being there. its the gastronomical (i think i spelled that word wrong) capital of france. in practice, this means they eat pigs feet and baby cow heads and call it a meal. the traditional lyonnais food is served at the "bouchon" and we went to one of these and it was a very interewsting experience to say the least. lets just say, the chilled pig's feet salad doused in mayonaise was my favorite. we also went to this "minature museme" where some french guy (or maybe he was swiss... tamAYto, tomAHto) spends his life making little diarama type models of random rooms and buildings. theyre so LIFE-like though. i almost wished i could become smaller like in honey i shrank the kids and live in all his little models. o man i miss that movie.
anyways, lyon was good and i stuffed my face about every two hours and now am probably as big as a house but, u cant go to the gastronomical capital of france and NOT be a glutton. its like... against the rules.
lets seee what else is going on in my o-so-exciting like... o. i went ot the movies last ngiht. saw "charlie wilson;s war"... i think thats what it is in english. here they call it "la guerre selon Charlie Wilson". i really liked. i recommend all to see it. that and Juno. i watched that on the computer and i really like that too. the girl in it is so good i wish i could hang out with her and she could be my friend but i think she might be too cool for me.
anyways, classes ended last week. that means everything is over except for 2 finals, both of which i will not stress out about too much because... i dunno im lazy and i just need to pass so i think with enough praying to allah i will be fine. on the 14th im leacing for morocco(hellllzzzzzzyeeeee!!) for a week and then we are taking the ferry over to southern spain and then making our way over to portugal and flying back to paris 1st of mars. then CLASSES.. wait omg a pigeon just ran into the window in my housre. omg that was so scary. omg now its sitting ont he ledge looking at me. ... ok it just flew away. phew! that was close.
assssssss i was saying before rudely interrupted by frenchie pigeon... classes start teh 3rd of march. kind of funny our semesters are so weird ehre... 2nd semester starts as most americans are having their spring breaks. in general i dont mind it but it does make the first semester feel like it last FOREVER... i just want it to be done and over with so i can be in morocco and chill with the muslums.
also, new apartment (well... not so new anymore) is nice. i love having my own space its really great. i wish i got to see my roomate more but seeing as january was hell month (i actually had SCHOOLWORK TO DO??? what is this crappp... the study in the "study abroad" decided to peeps its little head into my life) and i was working a lot and i went to lyon to be a fat-ass sooo we havent crossed paths. one night though we were eatring dinner and i was trying to explain to her different accents in america and then i showed her the mike myers skit on snl with the jewish ladies and thier brroklyn accent and she got a kick out of that. she really likes hearing about american culture and stuff. i showerd her some jerry seinfeld stand upt too although he was speaking too quickly so i dont think she understood a lot of it. she knows some english but not too much. also i like her because shes not super clean and either am i so i dont feel nervous about doing th dishes right away and stuff. over the summer i lived with cleano-nazis karima and alysa and they always blamed me when i didnt follow the "cleaning schedule" they so cornily posted on the fridge that no one else followed either but somehow i was the butt of the house-cleaning jokes. here me and camille can live in our own filth and be happy as clams. just kidding it really isnt dirty at all and i make sure i keep all the common areas nice and tidy (my room is a different story) but shes laid back and u know, im chill wit dat.
ow my head hurts. i dont know why.
ok i will finish by one thing i like about france and one thing i dont like so much:
like about france: les 'soldes". in france they dont have sales throughout the year like they do in the US but instead these this 6 week period or so when all stores are mandated by law to have sales. it started in january and i think its ending very soon. the first weekend of the sales are supposed to have the best discounts but this is also when the entire french population does its shopping so its really crowded. i didt go those days but i went last week pour faire du shopping and uhh,,, i dont wanna brag but i got me some of dem bargains.
don't like about france: old buildings dont have elevators. my apartment is on the 5th floor (which in france means the 6th) and its all stairs and it sucks walking up there. it makes leaving the house such a chore cuz once u leave the house u LEAVE the house... u cant jsut come back in like half an hour if u forget something because then u have to climb the stairs. i guess u could but i mean i prefer to stay on flat land. ascending into the heavens just aint my cup o' tea.
vendredi 14 décembre 2007
hello all. as promised i am doing good on my goal to write more frequently. but dont flatter yourselves, this blog post aint because i love you, but rather it is strictly the consequence of french work ethic... /lack thereof. this morning we were supposed to have a "repartage" for my "les grandes risques de la planet " class... basically my teacher decided not to show up one day 2 weeks ago (without warning us mind you... meaning everyone showed up at ten am on a friday morning and waited an hour before we realized the teach aint not gonn come. this is happened to me at least 6 times this semester, literally. and as i explained last entry... ten am classes are really taxing on the soul... especially a soul that is particularly nocternal and doesnt get its beauty rest the night before). anyhoooo the class was reshceduled for today... friday... at EIGHT AM. in the morniong. 8. in the mornong. meaning urs truly was up beefore the sun. i havent been up this early since... highschool?? i dont eve know but its an ungodly hour. and i showed up relativcely on time for the class and i peeped my little head (just kidding.. my giant head. i have a really big head relaticve to my body. and big feet. people dont realize this at first but its true.) i walked in the room and there was some english speaking woman talking in front of the class. i stood confused.. then i left to check it was the right room. it was. i went back to the room, assuming there was a "guest speaker" (.. dont ask why, that was the only logical ex^planation i could think of at 8:15) and sat down. looked around, realized i didnt recognize a single person. realizeed my teacher wasnt there. realized im an idiot. asked random frenchie what class it was. didnt understand the response but it sure wasnt the fucking grand risks of the stupid planet. had to get up and leave as french people snickekered behind me. usually i would have felt more stupid for doing this but when ur a foreigner, being oblivious and confused kinda comes with the territory. its more socially acceptable. or something. except this was an english speaking class so technically i had the upper hand. but shhh... lets just pretend. anyways, i left the class and ran into my techer in the hall who told me only 2 other kids actually showed up to the "repartage". so he cancled it. so i went through all this for nothing and now have 2 hours to kill before my next class.
its small moments liek these when i make my most astute observations about french society. as much as i hate to admit it i am a complete product of a captialist consumer american culture: when people dont show up to things they are supposed to, i get annoyed. really annoyed. not because i think they are morrally obliged to keep their word cuz frankly i dont care. more because i woke up before the sun and i could have easily slept in too but i knew i had to be somewhere so i went. this logic doesnt fly here. people flaking on things happens on a daily basis and its starting to rub off. earlier this week i was tired and didnt go to another class. france is making me lmazy and irresponsible. french mentality towards following rules can be likened to the way they cross the street. here; when u have to cross a road to get from point a to point b... u just go. u dont have to wait til u reach a cross walk or wait until the little man lights up on the thing and tell u to go. u just look both ways and if theres no cars u cross wherever. even if there are cars people usually just cross anyways and kinda sprint to the otherside before they die, thinking they are beating the 50km speed of the car when really they are just making it slow down for them anyways. french people just kinda do what they want when they want no matter who/what they are inconveniencing. this sounds like a really bitter analysis of french society but i kind of mean it in an endearing way. when we were in vienna the thing that struck me was how people, no matter if there wasnt a car in sight at like 3am, would NOT cross the street unless they were at a cross walk and the little man was lit up telling them to go. they just stood on an empty corner. for like 50 seconds. just waiting. for nothing. they were so addament about it. if thats not social conditioning then i dunno what is. thats the difference between austrians and french people. and since being in france i find myself sprinting across the street more often then waiting for little man to light up. wow that was such a profound metaphor. im so deep. i feel like that should be a line in a kelly clarkson song
anyways i have a presentation today for my french class that i didnt practice too much for. o well. its about that french ngo that kidnapped small africans to evacuate them to the land of civilised people and be adopted by french families, even though almost all the kids already had parents. its situations like this that make me ashamed to be part of the "monde occidental" as they say en frenchais. can white people chill with the white man's burden mentality for like half a second. o man ok i gotta go. gots class. not that it matters. no one else will show up anyway, but u know, i still got some of that austrian in me so im gonna go.
its small moments liek these when i make my most astute observations about french society. as much as i hate to admit it i am a complete product of a captialist consumer american culture: when people dont show up to things they are supposed to, i get annoyed. really annoyed. not because i think they are morrally obliged to keep their word cuz frankly i dont care. more because i woke up before the sun and i could have easily slept in too but i knew i had to be somewhere so i went. this logic doesnt fly here. people flaking on things happens on a daily basis and its starting to rub off. earlier this week i was tired and didnt go to another class. france is making me lmazy and irresponsible. french mentality towards following rules can be likened to the way they cross the street. here; when u have to cross a road to get from point a to point b... u just go. u dont have to wait til u reach a cross walk or wait until the little man lights up on the thing and tell u to go. u just look both ways and if theres no cars u cross wherever. even if there are cars people usually just cross anyways and kinda sprint to the otherside before they die, thinking they are beating the 50km speed of the car when really they are just making it slow down for them anyways. french people just kinda do what they want when they want no matter who/what they are inconveniencing. this sounds like a really bitter analysis of french society but i kind of mean it in an endearing way. when we were in vienna the thing that struck me was how people, no matter if there wasnt a car in sight at like 3am, would NOT cross the street unless they were at a cross walk and the little man was lit up telling them to go. they just stood on an empty corner. for like 50 seconds. just waiting. for nothing. they were so addament about it. if thats not social conditioning then i dunno what is. thats the difference between austrians and french people. and since being in france i find myself sprinting across the street more often then waiting for little man to light up. wow that was such a profound metaphor. im so deep. i feel like that should be a line in a kelly clarkson song
anyways i have a presentation today for my french class that i didnt practice too much for. o well. its about that french ngo that kidnapped small africans to evacuate them to the land of civilised people and be adopted by french families, even though almost all the kids already had parents. its situations like this that make me ashamed to be part of the "monde occidental" as they say en frenchais. can white people chill with the white man's burden mentality for like half a second. o man ok i gotta go. gots class. not that it matters. no one else will show up anyway, but u know, i still got some of that austrian in me so im gonna go.
mercredi 12 décembre 2007
slip and go! what can be better?!
its been so long since i have written in this here bitty. actually, that is a lie. ive written about 3 times since my last official post but i always start and never finish an entry and i dont wanna give y'all an unfinished post so i leave them to finish later. later soon becomes never. this may be the fate of this here post.. considering im starting to write it at 2am the ngiht before my 10am class. 10am doesnt seem so early to u ungrateful peeps who live on a college campus and have the luxury of waking up 9 minutes before class... brushing teeth and having enough time to arrive only like 3 minutes late. well thats what i did all last year anywways... i had it down to a science, really. here u gotta commute like woah. gotta leave 40 minutes minimum to get to class (that does not include the tooth-brushing time)... adn the wearing pjs to class dont fly here... something baout paris being the fashion capital of the world... but looking at me u probably wouldnt think it, as i am still wearing the hideous imitation converse sneakers i bought on sale at dsw last thanksgiving break on a (badly judged) impulse. but these sneakers dont have shoe laces so i can just slip them on and go! slip and go!.. .i mean cmon.. what can be better!? anyays... i have decided that from now on i will try and write more frequent but shorter posts so that i can actually finish them and then the phenomon of not wanting to write bc i have so much to catch y'all up on will fade away in the abyss of old-habits. i am hoping hideous-sneaker ]-wearing will also fade away into this forementioned abyss but i remain cynical on the liklihood of that point
.
ok soo.... where to behin...
(this is about the point where i usually stop writing and go to bed but im gonna push through and endure. push push! i feel like giving birth. and yes, i know what that feels like. dont judge me... u dont even KNOW meee f*ck y'all! f*ck y'all! [that was meant to be read in the voice of the 14 year old pre-pubescent girls that Maury has on his emmy-deserving daytime talkshow.. u know what im talkin bouttt, the laquisha who wants a baby and has slept with like 45 guys and the slightly/obesely over-weight badly made-up mama who is crying to maury in the corner cuz she dont know what went wrong. father figures people.. father figures!]) ummm... well... ive been a'travelin'! london, ireland, slovakia, austria, and soon to come EGYPT and israel for xmas break. ya know, gotta make my rounds and make a shout out to my peeps. which peeps u ask? all of them, as we are all brothers and issters in the global community. im taking this "le monde arabe contemporain" class and its my first real middle east class besides this islam one i took freshman year but everything that happened to me freshman year is a blur so that doesnt really count. wow that sounds like i was some boozin' raging alcoholic with a serious chance of ending up as the rape victim on an episode of law and order SVU (such a great show.. watched it dubbed in french the other week but it just wasnt the same) but thats not what i meant. i dont know what i meant. its 2am leave me alone. but anyways.... after taking this class im a lot more interesed in midddle east ish and so the egypt trip is gonna be pretty dope. ya heard??
i need to write a separate entry about slovakia bc it was so cool and u know, a real rekindling wiht my former soviet bros and hos. also, a rekindling with my innards as i vomitted up everything that has ever been through my intestinal track in the past 6 months due to self-diagnosed food poisoning. i dont know what was up with me but my usual stomach of steel decided to peace out and go on strike (the french-ness is rubbing off on him... more greves starting tomorrow by the by...AHH!!!! i hate them. i hate democracy.) the one week i went to bratislava and ate more meat and potatoes than are available in most small third world countries. i will tell about this laterr. and i iwll put up pictures. later. later later later...
at this point.. i will copy-paste a message i sent to this indian girl i know, summarizing my life in about 4 sentences because i really should be hittin the hay. and y aknow... i think itll do the job: aight here it is
1) i got a new apartment!! woo hoo with this awesome little french girl names camille who is SOOO nice and french! im moving in after new years, but i still have to telll my host mom for sure that im moving out.. i told her it was a possibility and then she offered to lower the rent to make me stay. but i dont wanna sooo this will end in a very awkward discussion that i should have had with her 2 days ago but alas im a chicken shit and have been avoiding it.
2) im leaving ofr CAIRO in one week from today... one week from this very moment actually. ill be there for about two weeks visiting alysa and karima has family in cairo so she will be there too. and we goin to jerusulem for xmas so we wont be stuck in land of muslims for jesus' bday
3) ive just been going to class, work (at the cnadaian bar... dunno if i told u about that but i got a job about a month ago so i could better integrate and try and speak some more french cuz i was finding i never spoke french... a lot of english speaking at the bar but a lot of the custumers are french so thats good). but yeahhh and just generally chillin. u know the drill...
aight my ninkumpoops... thats my life so far. in a shell. a nutshell, if u will. just kidding, its a turtle shell. wiggedy wiggedy. okkkkk peace. in the middle east. no wait... this time im serious about that because im going there and i would really like for there to be peace so as to not die.
o speaking of dying.... there was a bomb that went off in paris (yikes!) and it went off littereally ONE block from my house in the 8th. its like the chiquest hood this side of the seine sooo u can imagine peeps astonisment. but anyways... the important thing to note is that i didnt have a panic attack when i found out. thos who know me even slightly.. know that i have an irrational fear of being hit by terrorists (good thing im going to mid east right?) but seriously... its an issue. usually im jsut irrationally scared while on public transportation.. metro,bus, planes, not velib though. clearly. but yeah, to the point if i have an inexplicable "gut feeling" something is about to go down.. like some loud noise or a particilar shakey metro ride will usually spur it, i get off the metro and walk the rest of the way. but yeah so the bomb was acutally a good thing (not good but u know... good in a everythign has a silver lining kind of way) bc my lack of panic-attack shows that maybe im getting over my terrorist paranoia??? or maybe i was in a daze when the police guy told me not to step any closer bc there was a bomb that when off 10 yards away. yikes. good thing im moving into that new appartment in the 19th (just so u know... the 19th arrondissement is ghetto. like.. i know im a pretty much as ghetto superstar as one comes but this place is shady. at least theres no bombs. muggings yes, but no bomb-diggities.) anyways.. the bomb was targetted at some lawyer's office so maybe thats why it didnt scare me.. bc i dont envision myself ever being a lawyer and thus not receiving strange bomb-filled xmas packages. but i do envision myself being a civilian so the whole bombs in trains things scares me. my logic=gold
also, right now paris is pretty with christmas lights all over. really brings out the consumer in me.. err.. i mean the christian. the christian in me. jk.. no christianity herrrrrrre! just paganism. always paganism.
ok...its 2:32... bed bed bed! bon nuit
(o also.. i did already tell host mama france im moving out for sure... the message i sent to indian girl is a day old.. but needless to say she hates me now and alas i am on yet another person's death list. hers and the "terrorstis"...jfskdjfnsd). but ill talk more about that later. and bout slovakia. ok good. bye. fo. realz. this. time.
.
ok soo.... where to behin...
(this is about the point where i usually stop writing and go to bed but im gonna push through and endure. push push! i feel like giving birth. and yes, i know what that feels like. dont judge me... u dont even KNOW meee f*ck y'all! f*ck y'all! [that was meant to be read in the voice of the 14 year old pre-pubescent girls that Maury has on his emmy-deserving daytime talkshow.. u know what im talkin bouttt, the laquisha who wants a baby and has slept with like 45 guys and the slightly/obesely over-weight badly made-up mama who is crying to maury in the corner cuz she dont know what went wrong. father figures people.. father figures!]) ummm... well... ive been a'travelin'! london, ireland, slovakia, austria, and soon to come EGYPT and israel for xmas break. ya know, gotta make my rounds and make a shout out to my peeps. which peeps u ask? all of them, as we are all brothers and issters in the global community. im taking this "le monde arabe contemporain" class and its my first real middle east class besides this islam one i took freshman year but everything that happened to me freshman year is a blur so that doesnt really count. wow that sounds like i was some boozin' raging alcoholic with a serious chance of ending up as the rape victim on an episode of law and order SVU (such a great show.. watched it dubbed in french the other week but it just wasnt the same) but thats not what i meant. i dont know what i meant. its 2am leave me alone. but anyways.... after taking this class im a lot more interesed in midddle east ish and so the egypt trip is gonna be pretty dope. ya heard??
i need to write a separate entry about slovakia bc it was so cool and u know, a real rekindling wiht my former soviet bros and hos. also, a rekindling with my innards as i vomitted up everything that has ever been through my intestinal track in the past 6 months due to self-diagnosed food poisoning. i dont know what was up with me but my usual stomach of steel decided to peace out and go on strike (the french-ness is rubbing off on him... more greves starting tomorrow by the by...AHH!!!! i hate them. i hate democracy.) the one week i went to bratislava and ate more meat and potatoes than are available in most small third world countries. i will tell about this laterr. and i iwll put up pictures. later. later later later...
at this point.. i will copy-paste a message i sent to this indian girl i know, summarizing my life in about 4 sentences because i really should be hittin the hay. and y aknow... i think itll do the job: aight here it is
1) i got a new apartment!! woo hoo with this awesome little french girl names camille who is SOOO nice and french! im moving in after new years, but i still have to telll my host mom for sure that im moving out.. i told her it was a possibility and then she offered to lower the rent to make me stay. but i dont wanna sooo this will end in a very awkward discussion that i should have had with her 2 days ago but alas im a chicken shit and have been avoiding it.
2) im leaving ofr CAIRO in one week from today... one week from this very moment actually. ill be there for about two weeks visiting alysa and karima has family in cairo so she will be there too. and we goin to jerusulem for xmas so we wont be stuck in land of muslims for jesus' bday
3) ive just been going to class, work (at the cnadaian bar... dunno if i told u about that but i got a job about a month ago so i could better integrate and try and speak some more french cuz i was finding i never spoke french... a lot of english speaking at the bar but a lot of the custumers are french so thats good). but yeahhh and just generally chillin. u know the drill...
aight my ninkumpoops... thats my life so far. in a shell. a nutshell, if u will. just kidding, its a turtle shell. wiggedy wiggedy. okkkkk peace. in the middle east. no wait... this time im serious about that because im going there and i would really like for there to be peace so as to not die.
o speaking of dying.... there was a bomb that went off in paris (yikes!) and it went off littereally ONE block from my house in the 8th. its like the chiquest hood this side of the seine sooo u can imagine peeps astonisment. but anyways... the important thing to note is that i didnt have a panic attack when i found out. thos who know me even slightly.. know that i have an irrational fear of being hit by terrorists (good thing im going to mid east right?) but seriously... its an issue. usually im jsut irrationally scared while on public transportation.. metro,bus, planes, not velib though. clearly. but yeah, to the point if i have an inexplicable "gut feeling" something is about to go down.. like some loud noise or a particilar shakey metro ride will usually spur it, i get off the metro and walk the rest of the way. but yeah so the bomb was acutally a good thing (not good but u know... good in a everythign has a silver lining kind of way) bc my lack of panic-attack shows that maybe im getting over my terrorist paranoia??? or maybe i was in a daze when the police guy told me not to step any closer bc there was a bomb that when off 10 yards away. yikes. good thing im moving into that new appartment in the 19th (just so u know... the 19th arrondissement is ghetto. like.. i know im a pretty much as ghetto superstar as one comes but this place is shady. at least theres no bombs. muggings yes, but no bomb-diggities.) anyways.. the bomb was targetted at some lawyer's office so maybe thats why it didnt scare me.. bc i dont envision myself ever being a lawyer and thus not receiving strange bomb-filled xmas packages. but i do envision myself being a civilian so the whole bombs in trains things scares me. my logic=gold
also, right now paris is pretty with christmas lights all over. really brings out the consumer in me.. err.. i mean the christian. the christian in me. jk.. no christianity herrrrrrre! just paganism. always paganism.
ok...its 2:32... bed bed bed! bon nuit
(o also.. i did already tell host mama france im moving out for sure... the message i sent to indian girl is a day old.. but needless to say she hates me now and alas i am on yet another person's death list. hers and the "terrorstis"...jfskdjfnsd). but ill talk more about that later. and bout slovakia. ok good. bye. fo. realz. this. time.
jeudi 15 novembre 2007
The next creation: a robo-chicken
i apologize in advance for the randomness of this post, as well as the fact that it does not in the least of leasts pertain to my life in france...
i was just reading the nytimes (cuz im hip, cool and informed), and i just came across this article:
at first i was skeptical but i gave the researchers the benefit of the doubt. like ok... maybe this has an productive end... u know, start studying cocky-roach behavior and ultimately use it to find some life-saving technology. then i read this:
"The scientists plan to extend their research to higher animals. The next creation: a robo-chicken, which will look a little like a ball on tank treads with loudspeakers"
... ok still skeptical (robo-chicken?? like.. cmon) but still trusting that science exists for things beyond the amusement of those studying it. then i read further:
"The current research did not test whether the robots could lead the cockroaches to something they really disliked, like broad daylight or insecticide. The results also apply only to cockroaches, Dr. Halloy said. “We are not interested in people,” he said."
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/11/15/science/15cnd-roach.html?ref=science
i was just reading the nytimes (cuz im hip, cool and informed), and i just came across this article:
Cockroaches Respond to Peer Pressure, Study Suggests
"Many a mother has said, with a sigh, “If your friends jumped off a cliff, would you jump, too?”The answer, for cockroaches at least, may well be yes. Researchers using robotic roaches were able to convince real cockroaches to do things that their instincts told them were not the best idea.
at first i was skeptical but i gave the researchers the benefit of the doubt. like ok... maybe this has an productive end... u know, start studying cocky-roach behavior and ultimately use it to find some life-saving technology. then i read this:
"The scientists plan to extend their research to higher animals. The next creation: a robo-chicken, which will look a little like a ball on tank treads with loudspeakers"
... ok still skeptical (robo-chicken?? like.. cmon) but still trusting that science exists for things beyond the amusement of those studying it. then i read further:
"The current research did not test whether the robots could lead the cockroaches to something they really disliked, like broad daylight or insecticide. The results also apply only to cockroaches, Dr. Halloy said. “We are not interested in people,” he said."
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/11/15/science/15cnd-roach.html?ref=science
like... THIS is what researchers and scientists are doing?? playing cruel tricks on poor cocky-roaches?? isnt there... i dunno... cancers to cure, AIDS to treat, or entire ecosystems dying out and in need of saving due to our wasteful lifestyles?? meanwhile, researchers are playing mouse trap (the boardgame) with innocent roaches. im offended. im calling PETA. [(o, side note,,, after i mentioned PETA i went to their website just to check it out because i was momentarily impassioned about animal rights and felt like being a person for the ethical treatment of animals... and who do i see on the webpage?? pamela anderson. so random. actually now that i think of it i feel like i remmeber seeing her with dogs on her episode of MTV cribs... she must be a person for the ethical protection of animals.) (another side note: at work the other day the song "teenage wasteleand" was playing and this frenc guy was drunkenly singing along to it and then he asked what song it was.. i told him. and then he said awww..non non, c'est BAYWATCH!!... this is what french people know about america... baywatch. now that i think of it i remmeber hearing that baywatch is the single most popularly sindicated show in the entire world. i didnt believe it at the time.. i thought it would be friends or seinfeld or possibly teletubbies. now i know: its definitely baywatch)]. i feel like these scientists are the kind of guys who in high school made their dog smoke out of a bong to see what happens and then laugh at it when it stumbles around high. well not exactly like that and i dont know why that image popped into my head but it seemed appropriate at the time. not so much anymore. anyways, paris is cool and awesome and blah blah. ill write again soon
mardi 30 octobre 2007
jesus' prostitute companion has some ish buried here. please, refrain from using flash photography
dear all
this will be short becayse frankly im way too busy and glamerous to be dealing with all u little people. but a wise man once told me to be nice to the little people that u stepped on to get to where you are today ... so i here i am
anyways, im writing now bc i am leaving for a week (we have a reading week called "la semaine pedologique--> im about 89% sure i spelled ghat wrong, but u probably dont know french and wont know the difference. mwahahaha) and i wanna ya know, drop in and say hellow so u dont think i fell off the face of the earth when you dont hear from me for a week.
im going toooo LONDON! hellzzz yee! and dublin!! me and karima will be wed-saturday in london, staying with seth, then off to dublin saturday afternoon-tuesday where we will be staying with 10 strangers in a mixed female-male hostel. mad sexcapades. our flight from london to dublin was only a whoppin 5 pounds. but with the dollar-pound exchange rate that translates to roughly..uh... 700 dollars. well not quite but it aint far. and from what i understand this week is going to be the worst dollar-pound ratio in the past 6 years or something becuase the us is lowiering its interests rates to deal with the falling husing market??? jigga whhaaaa... i dont remember i-finance or i-trade so all those words i just uttered sounded vaguely familiar to me but were void of any real meaning. all i know is im screwwwed. i cant believe americans go to study there. i can hardly believe im studing in europe. 1.4 exchange rate? yikes.
ok i need to stop showing the world how cheap i can be, i can be really cheap and its not very becoming. o well. i dont think of it as cheap as much as an appreciation for the less expensive things in life. anyhoo, back to london... i better run into scary spice. and if not scary at least sporty. sporty spice sucked... whenever we did spice girl dances in elementary and middle school (..freshman year of college) no1 ever wanted to be sprty. ginger was popular.. baby too. sporty no so much. o man im siked.
speaking of travels...
this past weekend i went to burgandy.. the land of cows and mustard. its a province in the east of france with mad history. im not sure exactly what went down there... dukes and princes and having to save the princess from bowzer's castle and mario and luigi.. blah blah... furthermore, AP euro has escaped my memory... but it was beautiful. so old. we went to a tiny town called vezalay which still had buildings and architecture from before 1400. like.. thats so old. and like... im so profound. no but fo realz it was very strange to be standing and looking at things that people int he frakin 15th century stood on and looked at. the oldest thing in my town is the Acme supermarket. well thats not true. acme is not in my town but the town over so i really cant take ownership of its 1970s retro decor. im sure theres old stuff in plainsboro but im equally sure no1 reading this cares so ill just move on.. in vezalay we had a tour of the church where mary magdalen's relics were burried. that was the most indepth tour i have ever been on... our tour guide left not a signle thing to the imagination. a little less tour0guide action definitely wouldn;t have killed anyone. in fact im sure it would have salvaged a small part of my soul which died during the exruciatingly detailed tour. all she needed to do was walk us to the place and point to the relics and summed up with an all emcompassing comment like: "jesus' prostitute companion has some ish buried here. please, refrain from using flash photography"i think that woudl have sufficed. but after the tour we got to see a really nice view of the surrounding countryside from the highest point in the town, so i guess refraining from suicide attempts throughout the tour was not done completely in vain.
we also went to chamblis which is where they make the famous french white wine named chamblis. we did a "degustation" --> ca veut dire "wine tasting". crunk at 11am?? hellz yee. the town was tiny and i dont think more than 50 people could possibly want to live there. i kept noticing that every building had a satelite tv dish on the roof. and lots of cars and car dealerships. i put two and two together and realized that anyone living there tries to distract themselves from the boredem by watching mad prison break on satelite tv or driving far far away to another livlier town. but it was really charming and beautiful nonetheless. (prison break wasnt a random reference... french people love that ish. ive never seen it but i have been asked on more than one occuassion by a frenchie if i watch prison break in the us. i usually reply "no, i have more sophisticated things to watch, like my super sweet sixteen". then i scoff, roll my eyes, give 'em the old "talk to the hand" motion and then walk away)
those two towns were visited on saturday... sat night and sunday day we were in dijon. it was a nice place with even nicer food. although, everytime i go to other cites besides paris i always find myself underwhelmed. i love paris. paris, je t'aime. sorry its cliche but its trye. it really is the most amazing city. i prefer it to new yoork... new york is too big for me. too aggressive and in-yo-face. paris is a bit more managable. smaller, more quaint, more subtle but retains teh big city cosmopolitan feel. and theres mad immigrants here and i like to be in places that are not homogeneous and have a mix of lots of different ethnicities and cultures and blah blah. but anyways,,, back to dijon... it was a very quiet city. the whole time i was there i kept hinking how i was SO close to studying there for a year. they have a sciences-po campus there which specializeds in eastern european studies. if i had gone there i would have been able to continute taking russian intensively instead of the measily 2 hours i take at sciences po paris. but luckily my mom talked me out of dijon... thank goodness. im very happy with my decision.
last stop on last weekend's excursion was fontenay abbey... basically this little isolated private grounds place where monks chilled in like 1200 ad. it is one of those UNESCO world heritage sites. it was in the middle of burgandy countryside and it was really beautiful. i took mad pics of this past trip and one day u can look at them on facebook but for now ur gona have to hold ur horses bc im too lazy to post them.
so yeahhhh im out. peace. in the middle east.
this will be short becayse frankly im way too busy and glamerous to be dealing with all u little people. but a wise man once told me to be nice to the little people that u stepped on to get to where you are today ... so i here i am
anyways, im writing now bc i am leaving for a week (we have a reading week called "la semaine pedologique--> im about 89% sure i spelled ghat wrong, but u probably dont know french and wont know the difference. mwahahaha) and i wanna ya know, drop in and say hellow so u dont think i fell off the face of the earth when you dont hear from me for a week.
im going toooo LONDON! hellzzz yee! and dublin!! me and karima will be wed-saturday in london, staying with seth, then off to dublin saturday afternoon-tuesday where we will be staying with 10 strangers in a mixed female-male hostel. mad sexcapades. our flight from london to dublin was only a whoppin 5 pounds. but with the dollar-pound exchange rate that translates to roughly..uh... 700 dollars. well not quite but it aint far. and from what i understand this week is going to be the worst dollar-pound ratio in the past 6 years or something becuase the us is lowiering its interests rates to deal with the falling husing market??? jigga whhaaaa... i dont remember i-finance or i-trade so all those words i just uttered sounded vaguely familiar to me but were void of any real meaning. all i know is im screwwwed. i cant believe americans go to study there. i can hardly believe im studing in europe. 1.4 exchange rate? yikes.
ok i need to stop showing the world how cheap i can be, i can be really cheap and its not very becoming. o well. i dont think of it as cheap as much as an appreciation for the less expensive things in life. anyhoo, back to london... i better run into scary spice. and if not scary at least sporty. sporty spice sucked... whenever we did spice girl dances in elementary and middle school (..freshman year of college) no1 ever wanted to be sprty. ginger was popular.. baby too. sporty no so much. o man im siked.
speaking of travels...
this past weekend i went to burgandy.. the land of cows and mustard. its a province in the east of france with mad history. im not sure exactly what went down there... dukes and princes and having to save the princess from bowzer's castle and mario and luigi.. blah blah... furthermore, AP euro has escaped my memory... but it was beautiful. so old. we went to a tiny town called vezalay which still had buildings and architecture from before 1400. like.. thats so old. and like... im so profound. no but fo realz it was very strange to be standing and looking at things that people int he frakin 15th century stood on and looked at. the oldest thing in my town is the Acme supermarket. well thats not true. acme is not in my town but the town over so i really cant take ownership of its 1970s retro decor. im sure theres old stuff in plainsboro but im equally sure no1 reading this cares so ill just move on.. in vezalay we had a tour of the church where mary magdalen's relics were burried. that was the most indepth tour i have ever been on... our tour guide left not a signle thing to the imagination. a little less tour0guide action definitely wouldn;t have killed anyone. in fact im sure it would have salvaged a small part of my soul which died during the exruciatingly detailed tour. all she needed to do was walk us to the place and point to the relics and summed up with an all emcompassing comment like: "jesus' prostitute companion has some ish buried here. please, refrain from using flash photography"i think that woudl have sufficed. but after the tour we got to see a really nice view of the surrounding countryside from the highest point in the town, so i guess refraining from suicide attempts throughout the tour was not done completely in vain.
we also went to chamblis which is where they make the famous french white wine named chamblis. we did a "degustation" --> ca veut dire "wine tasting". crunk at 11am?? hellz yee. the town was tiny and i dont think more than 50 people could possibly want to live there. i kept noticing that every building had a satelite tv dish on the roof. and lots of cars and car dealerships. i put two and two together and realized that anyone living there tries to distract themselves from the boredem by watching mad prison break on satelite tv or driving far far away to another livlier town. but it was really charming and beautiful nonetheless. (prison break wasnt a random reference... french people love that ish. ive never seen it but i have been asked on more than one occuassion by a frenchie if i watch prison break in the us. i usually reply "no, i have more sophisticated things to watch, like my super sweet sixteen". then i scoff, roll my eyes, give 'em the old "talk to the hand" motion and then walk away)
those two towns were visited on saturday... sat night and sunday day we were in dijon. it was a nice place with even nicer food. although, everytime i go to other cites besides paris i always find myself underwhelmed. i love paris. paris, je t'aime. sorry its cliche but its trye. it really is the most amazing city. i prefer it to new yoork... new york is too big for me. too aggressive and in-yo-face. paris is a bit more managable. smaller, more quaint, more subtle but retains teh big city cosmopolitan feel. and theres mad immigrants here and i like to be in places that are not homogeneous and have a mix of lots of different ethnicities and cultures and blah blah. but anyways,,, back to dijon... it was a very quiet city. the whole time i was there i kept hinking how i was SO close to studying there for a year. they have a sciences-po campus there which specializeds in eastern european studies. if i had gone there i would have been able to continute taking russian intensively instead of the measily 2 hours i take at sciences po paris. but luckily my mom talked me out of dijon... thank goodness. im very happy with my decision.
last stop on last weekend's excursion was fontenay abbey... basically this little isolated private grounds place where monks chilled in like 1200 ad. it is one of those UNESCO world heritage sites. it was in the middle of burgandy countryside and it was really beautiful. i took mad pics of this past trip and one day u can look at them on facebook but for now ur gona have to hold ur horses bc im too lazy to post them.
so yeahhhh im out. peace. in the middle east.
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