hello all. as promised i am doing good on my goal to write more frequently. but dont flatter yourselves, this blog post aint because i love you, but rather it is strictly the consequence of french work ethic... /lack thereof. this morning we were supposed to have a "repartage" for my "les grandes risques de la planet " class... basically my teacher decided not to show up one day 2 weeks ago (without warning us mind you... meaning everyone showed up at ten am on a friday morning and waited an hour before we realized the teach aint not gonn come. this is happened to me at least 6 times this semester, literally. and as i explained last entry... ten am classes are really taxing on the soul... especially a soul that is particularly nocternal and doesnt get its beauty rest the night before). anyhoooo the class was reshceduled for today... friday... at EIGHT AM. in the morniong. 8. in the mornong. meaning urs truly was up beefore the sun. i havent been up this early since... highschool?? i dont eve know but its an ungodly hour. and i showed up relativcely on time for the class and i peeped my little head (just kidding.. my giant head. i have a really big head relaticve to my body. and big feet. people dont realize this at first but its true.) i walked in the room and there was some english speaking woman talking in front of the class. i stood confused.. then i left to check it was the right room. it was. i went back to the room, assuming there was a "guest speaker" (.. dont ask why, that was the only logical ex^planation i could think of at 8:15) and sat down. looked around, realized i didnt recognize a single person. realizeed my teacher wasnt there. realized im an idiot. asked random frenchie what class it was. didnt understand the response but it sure wasnt the fucking grand risks of the stupid planet. had to get up and leave as french people snickekered behind me. usually i would have felt more stupid for doing this but when ur a foreigner, being oblivious and confused kinda comes with the territory. its more socially acceptable. or something. except this was an english speaking class so technically i had the upper hand. but shhh... lets just pretend. anyways, i left the class and ran into my techer in the hall who told me only 2 other kids actually showed up to the "repartage". so he cancled it. so i went through all this for nothing and now have 2 hours to kill before my next class.

its small moments liek these when i make my most astute observations about french society. as much as i hate to admit it i am a complete product of a captialist consumer american culture: when people dont show up to things they are supposed to, i get annoyed. really annoyed. not because i think they are morrally obliged to keep their word cuz frankly i dont care. more because i woke up before the sun and i could have easily slept in too but i knew i had to be somewhere so i went. this logic doesnt fly here. people flaking on things happens on a daily basis and its starting to rub off. earlier this week i was tired and didnt go to another class. france is making me lmazy and irresponsible. french mentality towards following rules can be likened to the way they cross the street. here; when u have to cross a road to get from point a to point b... u just go. u dont have to wait til u reach a cross walk or wait until the little man lights up on the thing and tell u to go. u just look both ways and if theres no cars u cross wherever. even if there are cars people usually just cross anyways and kinda sprint to the otherside before they die, thinking they are beating the 50km speed of the car when really they are just making it slow down for them anyways. french people just kinda do what they want when they want no matter who/what they are inconveniencing. this sounds like a really bitter analysis of french society but i kind of mean it in an endearing way. when we were in vienna the thing that struck me was how people, no matter if there wasnt a car in sight at like 3am, would NOT cross the street unless they were at a cross walk and the little man was lit up telling them to go. they just stood on an empty corner. for like 50 seconds. just waiting. for nothing. they were so addament about it. if thats not social conditioning then i dunno what is. thats the difference between austrians and french people. and since being in france i find myself sprinting across the street more often then waiting for little man to light up. wow that was such a profound metaphor. im so deep. i feel like that should be a line in a kelly clarkson song

anyways i have a presentation today for my french class that i didnt practice too much for. o well. its about that french ngo that kidnapped small africans to evacuate them to the land of civilised people and be adopted by french families, even though almost all the kids already had parents. its situations like this that make me ashamed to be part of the "monde occidental" as they say en frenchais. can white people chill with the white man's burden mentality for like half a second. o man ok i gotta go. gots class. not that it matters. no one else will show up anyway, but u know, i still got some of that austrian in me so im gonna go.

slip and go! what can be better?!

its been so long since i have written in this here bitty. actually, that is a lie. ive written about 3 times since my last official post but i always start and never finish an entry and i dont wanna give y'all an unfinished post so i leave them to finish later. later soon becomes never. this may be the fate of this here post.. considering im starting to write it at 2am the ngiht before my 10am class. 10am doesnt seem so early to u ungrateful peeps who live on a college campus and have the luxury of waking up 9 minutes before class... brushing teeth and having enough time to arrive only like 3 minutes late. well thats what i did all last year anywways... i had it down to a science, really. here u gotta commute like woah. gotta leave 40 minutes minimum to get to class (that does not include the tooth-brushing time)... adn the wearing pjs to class dont fly here... something baout paris being the fashion capital of the world... but looking at me u probably wouldnt think it, as i am still wearing the hideous imitation converse sneakers i bought on sale at dsw last thanksgiving break on a (badly judged) impulse. but these sneakers dont have shoe laces so i can just slip them on and go! slip and go!.. .i mean cmon.. what can be better!? anyays... i have decided that from now on i will try and write more frequent but shorter posts so that i can actually finish them and then the phenomon of not wanting to write bc i have so much to catch y'all up on will fade away in the abyss of old-habits. i am hoping hideous-sneaker ]-wearing will also fade away into this forementioned abyss but i remain cynical on the liklihood of that point
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ok soo.... where to behin...

(this is about the point where i usually stop writing and go to bed but im gonna push through and endure. push push! i feel like giving birth. and yes, i know what that feels like. dont judge me... u dont even KNOW meee f*ck y'all! f*ck y'all! [that was meant to be read in the voice of the 14 year old pre-pubescent girls that Maury has on his emmy-deserving daytime talkshow.. u know what im talkin bouttt, the laquisha who wants a baby and has slept with like 45 guys and the slightly/obesely over-weight badly made-up mama who is crying to maury in the corner cuz she dont know what went wrong. father figures people.. father figures!]) ummm... well... ive been a'travelin'! london, ireland, slovakia, austria, and soon to come EGYPT and israel for xmas break. ya know, gotta make my rounds and make a shout out to my peeps. which peeps u ask? all of them, as we are all brothers and issters in the global community. im taking this "le monde arabe contemporain" class and its my first real middle east class besides this islam one i took freshman year but everything that happened to me freshman year is a blur so that doesnt really count. wow that sounds like i was some boozin' raging alcoholic with a serious chance of ending up as the rape victim on an episode of law and order SVU (such a great show.. watched it dubbed in french the other week but it just wasnt the same) but thats not what i meant. i dont know what i meant. its 2am leave me alone. but anyways.... after taking this class im a lot more interesed in midddle east ish and so the egypt trip is gonna be pretty dope. ya heard??

i need to write a separate entry about slovakia bc it was so cool and u know, a real rekindling wiht my former soviet bros and hos. also, a rekindling with my innards as i vomitted up everything that has ever been through my intestinal track in the past 6 months due to self-diagnosed food poisoning. i dont know what was up with me but my usual stomach of steel decided to peace out and go on strike (the french-ness is rubbing off on him... more greves starting tomorrow by the by...AHH!!!! i hate them. i hate democracy.) the one week i went to bratislava and ate more meat and potatoes than are available in most small third world countries. i will tell about this laterr. and i iwll put up pictures. later. later later later...

at this point.. i will copy-paste a message i sent to this indian girl i know, summarizing my life in about 4 sentences because i really should be hittin the hay. and y aknow... i think itll do the job: aight here it is
1) i got a new apartment!! woo hoo with this awesome little french girl names camille who is SOOO nice and french! im moving in after new years, but i still have to telll my host mom for sure that im moving out.. i told her it was a possibility and then she offered to lower the rent to make me stay. but i dont wanna sooo this will end in a very awkward discussion that i should have had with her 2 days ago but alas im a chicken shit and have been avoiding it.

2) im leaving ofr CAIRO in one week from today... one week from this very moment actually. ill be there for about two weeks visiting alysa and karima has family in cairo so she will be there too. and we goin to jerusulem for xmas so we wont be stuck in land of muslims for jesus' bday

3) ive just been going to class, work (at the cnadaian bar... dunno if i told u about that but i got a job about a month ago so i could better integrate and try and speak some more french cuz i was finding i never spoke french... a lot of english speaking at the bar but a lot of the custumers are french so thats good). but yeahhh and just generally chillin. u know the drill...


aight my ninkumpoops... thats my life so far. in a shell. a nutshell, if u will. just kidding, its a turtle shell. wiggedy wiggedy. okkkkk peace. in the middle east. no wait... this time im serious about that because im going there and i would really like for there to be peace so as to not die.

o speaking of dying.... there was a bomb that went off in paris (yikes!) and it went off littereally ONE block from my house in the 8th. its like the chiquest hood this side of the seine sooo u can imagine peeps astonisment. but anyways... the important thing to note is that i didnt have a panic attack when i found out. thos who know me even slightly.. know that i have an irrational fear of being hit by terrorists (good thing im going to mid east right?) but seriously... its an issue. usually im jsut irrationally scared while on public transportation.. metro,bus, planes, not velib though. clearly. but yeah, to the point if i have an inexplicable "gut feeling" something is about to go down.. like some loud noise or a particilar shakey metro ride will usually spur it, i get off the metro and walk the rest of the way. but yeah so the bomb was acutally a good thing (not good but u know... good in a everythign has a silver lining kind of way) bc my lack of panic-attack shows that maybe im getting over my terrorist paranoia??? or maybe i was in a daze when the police guy told me not to step any closer bc there was a bomb that when off 10 yards away. yikes. good thing im moving into that new appartment in the 19th (just so u know... the 19th arrondissement is ghetto. like.. i know im a pretty much as ghetto superstar as one comes but this place is shady. at least theres no bombs. muggings yes, but no bomb-diggities.) anyways.. the bomb was targetted at some lawyer's office so maybe thats why it didnt scare me.. bc i dont envision myself ever being a lawyer and thus not receiving strange bomb-filled xmas packages. but i do envision myself being a civilian so the whole bombs in trains things scares me. my logic=gold

also, right now paris is pretty with christmas lights all over. really brings out the consumer in me.. err.. i mean the christian. the christian in me. jk.. no christianity herrrrrrre! just paganism. always paganism.

ok...its 2:32... bed bed bed! bon nuit

(o also.. i did already tell host mama france im moving out for sure... the message i sent to indian girl is a day old.. but needless to say she hates me now and alas i am on yet another person's death list. hers and the "terrorstis"...jfskdjfnsd). but ill talk more about that later. and bout slovakia. ok good. bye. fo. realz. this. time.